Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I am comfortable

I don't like it when the humans go away. It makes me sad. I feel lonely. Don't tell them this, but I love my humans. They're not all bad. They fuss my belly and give me flakies.
When one of the humans goes away, there's more space for me on the bed. I like to spread my feets out, but it's difficult when there are two humans. Now I can spread out in the female human's space. The male human and I have been having long lie-ins. Usually the female human tells us off and makes us get up, but she's not here now. We're being naughty bachelor boys.
The female human will tell us off when she gets back, but for now we can enjoy our long lie-ins. It's not all bad when the female human goes away.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I am deadly

The male human, in an attempt to keep me quiet, has given me some nip. He put it on my big, red mousie. I love nip. My big, red mousie became lots of fun to play with. Usually he just sits on the floor looking indifferent, but nip makes him fun and exciting. I decided to fight him. I may be bigger, but the big, red mousie has some good moves. I started with a left hook followed by a body slam and tried to pin him, but the big, red mousie was ready for me. The big, red mousie got me in a headlock and nearly had me pinned. The male human began to count to ten, but I wasn't down and out just yet...

I got the mousie with an uppercut and followed with a bunny kick. My
bunny kick is dangerous. Sometimes, when the male human is fussing me, I grab his arm with my teeth and front paws, then bunny kick him with my bunnies. Sometimes I make the male human's arm bleed. The big, red mousie, although he's smaller, is a much dirtier fighter than the male human. He bit my arm, so I bit his belly. We were wrestling now. The male human was happy I was fighting the big, red mousie and giving his arm a break. I'll have to get him later, when he least suspects it.

I decided it was time to put him out of his misery, so I decided to use my Judo skills. A quick side kick to the big, red mousie's tail, and he was going down. All that was left to do was to hold him down for the count and that was it. Game over. The big, red mousie was a fearsome opponent, but no match for my superior Pooka fighting skills. The female human will be so proud of me. I can't wait to tell her about my fight with the big, red mousie.
I'm sleepy and hungry now...

Monday, September 27, 2010

I am worried

The female human has been gone a while now. What if the male human wants to go away too? I'm worried he will go away and I will be all by myself. I don't want the humans to go away. I've been keeping a close eye on the male human. To make sure he doesn't escape, I follow him around the apartment, and when he stops moving, I sit on him to make extra sure he can't leave. I have been following him to bed, to the kitchen, to the bathroom, everywhere. I won't let this one get away. The male human thinks I'm being a monster. He sent this photo to the female human. The female human likes seeing photos of me. I'm trying to be very cute and hopefully she'll come back and see me soon.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

I am sad

The female human is going away tomorrow. She said she can't update my blog for me while she is away. I want to go with her, but I'm scared of the car and the airplane. I don't like leaving my apartment. It's safe and smells like me and the humans. I tried sitting in the human's suitcase, so she wouldn't be able to pack and go away and leave me. But it turns out the female human has a lot of suitcases, and she was packing a different case. I'm going to miss her. She has the best cuddles. But she will come back in 10 days. The male human is going to send her lots of photos of me, so she won't forget me. As if anyone could forget my wonderfulness.

I am speedy

I often get hungry in the evenings, around supper time. I usually go and see the male human (he is more generous with the flakies) and tell him that it's time for my supper. Sometimes the female human hears me telling the male human and she comes to see what's going on. She thinks we're silly boys. The male human likes racing. When I ask him for flakies and the female human is watching, we run down the hall to the kitchen, where the flakies live. We have a race. The male human usually leads the race, but I catch up with him easily to win a flakie prize. The female human thinks it's good for my diet. She says I'm getting some exercise. But the humans laugh at my running. They say I run like a bunny rabbit, not like a pussum. The humans are so rude to me. They don't respect my furriness.

Monday, September 20, 2010

I am evil

Look at my laser beam eyes! The humans wouldn't feed me on demand. I told them I was hungry and that I wanted my dinner. They said it wasn't dinner time yet and took photographs of me instead. I was most displeased about this and decided to use the laser beams on the humans. The humans thought again about making me wait for my dinner and decided to feed me early. The humans are no match for my evil laser beam gaze.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

I am clean

Sometimes I am a good pussum. My humans said I am very clean. They think I keep my fur and my paws and teeth very clean. I am always slurping my fur and paws. I slurp my paws a bit too much. It makes me think about my mom. Then I go crazy and bite the human holding me at the time, usually the female human. She doesn't mind. She's used to it. I have trained this human very well. She also gives my fur a nice brush every week on the balcony. I love having my fur brushed. It reminds me of when my mom used to clean me as a kitten. The humans think I might have some momma issues.
To keep my teeth clean, I often scrape them on the female human's computer or on the male human's books. It scrapes off all the biscuit crumbs and flakie bits. My teeth feel really good after I scrape them. The humans never seem too happy, though. You'd think they'd appreciate a clean and sparkly pussum, such as myself.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I am French

Bonjour, mes amis. Je suis Francais! Ca va? Je suis le Pook.
The female human was very silly yesterday. I was having a nice kip on the floor, minding my own business, when I awoke to discover I was suddenly French and the female human was taking photographs of me. How rude! I am not French. I am Japanese. But the human's jumper was nice and warm, so I decided to stay there for a while. Maybe when winter comes, I will steal this jumper...

Saturday, September 11, 2010

I am squared

It's starting to cold now. I am happy summer is finished. I was too hot and humid. My humans said I didn't do anything all day because of the hot. I don't like the hot. It makes me sleepy. When it's cold, I like to kip in my house. The male human came home and found me with my head sticking out of the house window. He thought it was funny and sent a photo to the female human. I don't care. I'm toasty.
The female human is going to England next week. She said she is going to bring me back a hot-water bottle to help keep me toasty in winter. What's a hot-water bottle...?

Thursday, September 9, 2010

I am authorial

When I grow up, I want to be a writer like the male human. He gets a desk and a good chair all to himself. His desk often has tea, beer and yummy foods on it. Sometimes he drops cheese or bacon on the floor and I can eat it. When he goes to the kitchen for more beer, I steal his chair. It's all warm and toasty and I can see over the desk. There are lots of crows outside. But I am safe inside in my writer's chair. One day, I will write my autobiography. Or I'll make the male human do it for me.

Monday, September 6, 2010

I am chipped (and violent)

My humans took me on a special trip today. They took me to the Vee Eee Tee. They tricked me. It turned out the Vee Eee Tee is actually the Vet! I was not happy. They put me in my soft carry case. I tried to tell them it wasn't necessary, but they insisted. I told them in the hallway, and the elevator, and the building lobby, and in the car all the way to the Vet. But they didn't listen to me.When I got there, it smelled pretty. I was distracted by the nice smells. Then I remembered where I was. The Vet human seemed nice. He weighed me on a special table and said I was fat. How rude! He gave my humans special new food. It smells quite nice.
The male human held onto me to stop me running away. While he was holding me, the Vet human stuck two needles in me, one in my neck and one in my hip. I was not happy. After this, the Vet human wanted to take my blood. I was not a happy pussum. I wanted to go home. So, I pounced the Vet human and bit and scratched him. I made a big scratch on his arm and lots of bite marks. Then I growled at everyone, even the female human (she brought me here, traitor!). The male human put me back in the case. The Vet didn't take my blood. I'm so fiercesome. I'm a tiger.
The Vet human gave my humans a microchip and a rabies certificate. I am certified. Then they took me home. When I got home, they gave me tuna and cuddles. I suppose I'll forgive them some time soon...

Friday, September 3, 2010

I am wasted

My humans gave me some nip last week. They put it all over my big, red mousey and on my house. I love nip. It makes me happy. I nommed my mousey a lot and rolled around on the floor with him. Nip makes me affectionate and roly-poly. My humans always laugh at me when I have some nip.