Monday, November 29, 2010

I am round

I don't like sitting on the floor in winter. It's cold. I don't like my belly to get cold. There's nowhere comfy to sit in the male human's writing room. Sometimes I jump on his desk, but he gets cross because I knock his tea over and sit on his computer. Yesterday I typed 'Brzzzzzzzzzzbop'. The male human thought it was funny, but didn't include it in his book. How rude!
The female human brought my bed in, so I would have somewhere comfortable to sit. But this bed is too small. I have to make myself very round to fit on it.
Yesterday a box arrived for the humans. It's a very big box and much more comfortable than my bed. The female human said she would make it pretty for me. She's not so bad all of the time.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

I am airbourne

I found a new game.
My flat is very damp. There's lots of nommy water on the windows. The male human opens his window to let the water out. If I jump on his desk, I can reach the window and jump onto the balcony. But the window is too high and I can't jump back in. I meowed at the male human, but he couldn't reach me either.
Luckily, I remembered the doors to the living room. I ran around the balcony and meowed at the male human to let me in. He is well trained and came to get me immediately. I like to control the male human. He gets cross, but that makes it even more fun. I jumped out of the window three more times. The male human realised I was playing with him and shut the window. Sometimes he has no sense of humour.

Friday, November 19, 2010

I am needy

I am not an easy pussum to live with. This is what the male human always tells me. He says I am very demanding. He says I am very vocal. He says I am spoilt. The female human has to remind him that he spoils me. She says it's a vicious circle.
When I want something, I will try to locate the male human and tell him what I want. Usually I want flakies, and the male human is very good at getting the flakies. He's much better than the female human. She never gives me flakies. If I need my tray emptying, I tell the female human. It's her job. I tell her every time I go, even if it's early in the morning.
Sometimes I am sick in the hallway. I make sure to tell the humans, even if it's early in the morning. Sometimes I'm hungry when I wake up, so I tell the humans, even if it's early in the morning. The humans aren't very good at early mornings. I have to work harder at their training...

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

I am roasted

I live in Hokkaido. In winter, Hokkaido is very cold. There is lots of snow. This displeases me. I don't like cold things. Snow is very cold. To keep me nice and toasty, the humans use a Kotatsu. I like the tatsu. I sit under it with the female human and we get nice and warm. Sometimes we fall asleep under the tatsu. The male human tells us off.
The humans also have a plug-in radiator. I like the radiator a lot. When the female human goes out, I can sit next to the radiator to stay toasty (I don't like going under the tatsu when she's not here, it's dark and scary).
Sometimes the male human sits in my seat and I have to move him along. He should know his place by now.
At night time, I climb into bed with the humans. The male human is especially warm. They tried to keep me out, but I just meowed until they let me in again. Humans are easy, if you know how to manage them. There's a rumour the female human is going away at Christmas. That means I'll have a whole side of the bed all to myself.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

I am finger-licking good

Sometimes I annoy the male human. I meow at him, scratch his chair, jump on his table, lay on his computer, bite his hand, knock over the sensor when he's playing Wii games...
But he still loves me. He eats a strange, smelly paste on toast for breakfast. The female human doesn't like this paste. She hates it. The male human calls it Marmite. I love Marmite. The male human let's me have some for breakfast, too.
I love my Marms.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

I am entombed

The female human has been using the kotatsu every day. I like the kotatsu a lot. It's like having a soft, comfy cave with central heating. It's my favourite place to hide in the evenings. I usually enter the tatsu at 6pm and only emerge to cool down my toasty belly. I like to use the female human's legs as a pillow.
Sometimes I pretend I'm a tiger and jump out at the male human. Then I run around the tatsu and pounce the female human. They just laugh at me. They don't take my tigering seriously. Foolish humans.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

I am harassed

The female human won't stop taking photos of me. Everywhere I go, there she is with that annoying, flashing box, taking shot after shot of me. I understand that I'm a handsome Pooka, but really, this is starting to infringe upon my cuddles' time. I may have to take out a selective restraining order. No female human within 200 metres except for noms and cuddles.

Monday, November 1, 2010

I am...?

I am lots of things. I am bitey, fluffy, sleepy, naughty, cute, comfy, indignant, hungry, noisy, cold, mean, displeased, French, speedy, chipped, vain, lazy, cuddlesome, helpful, spoilt....
But I could be so much more.
What would you like me to be?
Adjectives on a postcard.