Saturday, July 31, 2010

I am talented

Sometimes my human will ignore me completely and play with this thing instead. I don't get it. It doesn't sound good, doesn't smell good, doesn't taste good and looks very strange. I don't like her playing with it. I sat on it, but it's not very comfortable. When the human took the headphones out, it made a horrible noise. She doesn't like me climbing on it and tells me off. Sometimes she even picks me up and puts me on the floor.
I don't think that's very fair.

Monday, July 26, 2010

I am acrophobic

My human thinks I'm lazy. I will only climb as far as the house on my tower. The house is warm and cosy. There's no reason to climb any higher. There's no food up there. No flakies. No mousies. So the human picked me up and put me up there. It was fun. I was the tallest pussum. But then I couldn't get down. It was too high. I was scared.
The other human had to come and get me down. I feel silly now.

Friday, July 23, 2010

I am addicted (addictive?)

I love catnip. It makes me happy. I like it when the humans put catnip on my scratch pads. I like to scratch it out and smell it and roll around in it. I feel very relaxed. I love the humans more. Everything is better after a bit of nip.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I am hairy

My human is always using the noise machine. She calls it the vacuum cleaner, but I don't see what it has to do with vacuums. It just makes lots of noise. She said it's my fault she uses it so much. She says I'm too fuzzy and I leave fur all over the apartment. She has to clean up my fur all the time.
I try to help. When the human has put clothes in the cupboard, I sit in on the strategically placed, folded clothes to minimise the spread of my fur.
But the human doesn't seem to appreciate that either. These humans are never happy.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

I am bratty

I think my humans don't love me any more. I woke up at 3am. I was hungry. I tried to wake the female human up, but she swore at me and told me to go away. She even pushed me off the bed. Eventually the other human got up and fed me. I came back in to express my displeasure at my morning treatment. The humans didn't appreciate my yowling and told me off, so I bit the male human. He was very cross. He locked me in the front room at 5 and went back to bed. I was sad. He eventually let me back in at 9. I gave the female human a big cuddle.
Maybe they will give me to some new humans...

Saturday, July 17, 2010

I am skinny

Sometimes I stretch. When I stretch I look like Thunderbird 2. Today I did a half stretch. It makes my front look skinny for photographs.
The humans put me on the second-highest platform on my tower. I could look down on them. Small humans. But I couldn't get down. It was scary.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

I am bronzed

I love sunbathing. The sun is warm. I feel toasty. I like to sleep in the sun. My humans think I look like Thunderbird 2 when I stretch. I think they are rude. I don't look like a squat, green lump on skinny little legs. How rude!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I am loved

My human is back!
My human is back!
We hugged.
We cuddled.
I bit him.
He fed me.
I ate flakies.
We fought.
I bit him again.
He gave me more flakies.
We cuddled some more.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I am happy

The other human comes home today. I am very happy. I missed him. We will stay in bed late and drink tea. He is going to bring me presents. I like this human a lot.
The human is happy, too. She is getting presents, as well. I think I will get lots of flakies today...

Monday, July 12, 2010

I am rehomed

The human's mother was packing and she found a large bag. She was going to throw it away, but the human said I could play with it.It is my new house. It is bigger than my old house and has space for a pool in the back. I am very comfortable.I had a road-traffic accident earlier... The little blue bird came out of nowhere. So I nommed him.

I am lonesome

My other human is in Engerland watching the football. He comes home on Wednesday. I miss him. He is fun. He likes fighting and chasing and scratching and mousies. He gives me lots of flakies and lots of biscuits. He spoils me. I loves him. He is nicer than the other human. She is a tough-love kind of human. When the other human returns he will love me and hug me and squeeze me. Then he'll feed me...

Sunday, July 11, 2010

I am derelict

My human bought a toaster yesterday. It came in a big paper bag. I like big paper bags. They smell nice and make good noises. I can hide in them and jump out at the humans. Much fun.
My human gave me an ultimatum; either stop the late night breakfast demands or live in a paper bag on the balcony. I tried out the paper bag for size, but I don't think it's a workable option...
I may get my revenge later.... or earlier this morning.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

I am good

Last night I woke up at 5am for breakfast. The human was very pleased. Then we went straight back to bed and cuddled. I was very cozy. She is going to buy me new flakies today because I was good. Maybe the lavender is having an effect...

I am neglected

I eat dinner at 5pm. I always eat dinner at 5pm. Today my human went shopping with her humans in Sapporo. They didn't come home until 8:30pm. I was starving. I tried to tell my human, but she was too busy putting away the shoppings. I am neglected.

I asked the other human for food, but she didn't listen. I am completely neglected. The human said she would feed me if I made a good photo. Now I know how those ANTM girls feel. I am a starving artist.

Friday, July 9, 2010

I am long

Most people think I am fat. I am not fat. I am fluffy. I am big boned. I am long. I am over 90cm long from my nose to the tip of my tail.
My human put lavender on the pillow last night in an attempt to drug us both to sleep. I still woke up at 4:20am. She'll have to do better than that.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

I am sleepy

My human got back late yesterday. I was very sleepy. She was using the internet until 1am. I had to get up at 3am for my breakfast, so I was sleepy. I am cute and quiet when I sleep. I am noisy and naughty when I am awake.

I am naughty

To teach my human a lesson for last night, I woke her up at 3am this morning. She finally fed me at 4, but I decided to keep her awake until 6. She got angry and chased me out of the room. I ran into the door and made a loud bang. The human's parents didn't wake up when I meowed outside their door, so I had to go back and make nice with her. She eventually let me back into the bed.

I'll have to think of a new revenge for tonight...

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

I am hungry... I am full

4:20am and my human still isn't awake. I am hungry. I have meowed, I have pawed, I have sat on my human... She sleeps on. Finally she woke up and snapped me on the table. I am so hungry I am almost dead.

Finally! She woke up and fed me. Now I am full. I returned to bed to find a nice warm spot waiting for me. I am full and warm and comfy.
Life is still good.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

I am spoilt

The human's mother brought me toys from Engerland. They are 3 noisy, rolling balls (very fun) and a large, red, crunchy mouse. I will add pictures as soon as my human can round them all up.

Today she found out I can climb into the house on my cat tree by myself.... This doesn't bode well for my free lifts.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

I am helpful

My human's parents are coming to stay for a week. She changed the bedding. I helped.

Friday, July 2, 2010

I am bored

My other human went back to the UK a few weeks ago to watch the World Cup. That turned out well...
Anyway, I have been left without a fight buddy. My female human doesn't like fighting, scratching, biting, or any of the fun things to go along with being a Cat. Now, the male human, he's much more fun. He fights, he boxes, I allow him to chase me and then I bite and scratch him.
Good times.