I am rude

Recently the female human has been trying to take photos of me to show my new slimness, but I won't sit or lie in the same positions for the purposes of comparison. This annoys the female human greatly. I think it's funny.
But I have been sticking my tongue out a lot. In fact, most of the photos the female human takes of me have me sticking my tongue out. I am a rude pooka.

I am musical

The female human has lots of annoying habits. She spends too much time on The Computer. She has another keyboard that annoys me. She calls it The Piano. I don't like The Piano. It's even noisier and more annoying than The Computer. Sometimes the female human plays it and makes lots of noise. She can't hear me calling for my fourth dinner. When she's not listening, I just on The Piano and make an even louder noise than the female human. Then she gets cross at me and dumps me on the floor in a very undignified manner. She's always getting cross at me for something or other. I think she needs a cattitude adjustment.

I am rapacious

Further to my difficulties with the female human's computer use, there is also the problem of the computer's position within the house. I don't know how or why it does it, but the computer always takes the Warmest Spot. The Warmest Spot seems to move around the house at random, but wherever it is, that computer is always on it... I have to move the computer if I want to sit on the Warmest Spot.
The female human gets cross at me when I move the computer. Sometimes when I try to move the computer, I accidentally sit on it and make the screen change. Then the female human gets very cross and puts me on the floor. Stupid computer.

I am obstructive

I am an important pooka. As such, I require 100% of the female human's attention 100% of the time. Sometimes she likes to use her computer and stops paying attention to me. I am not at all impressed with this kind of behaviour. I show the female human how displeased I am by jumping onto the desk and sitting in front of or on her computer. The only time she should be using the computer is to write out my blog for me. Everything else is frivolous and unnecessary.
*The female human and I have been thinking about Japan today and the earthquake and tsunami. We feel very lucky.

I am airborne

It was the female human's birthday last week. She got balloons. I didn't get balloons for my birthday. I like balloons. I made a plan. I was going to use the balloons to float up to the sideboard so I could get my flakies and bickies. But it turned out that two balloons are not enough to lift even the slim pooka.
Later the female human tied one of my mousies to the balloons, so he floated across the living room. I wasn't very pleased about that. My mousie was too high. The female had to float the balloons over the sofa so that I could reach him.

I am topical.

Not like skin cream. I am up to date with current affairs and world news. There are lots of bad bankers being paid lots of money for doing not much or doing things wrong. If I were a banker I would stockpile flakies and tuna. There's always a demand for them, in this house at least.
The female human has a good chair. It's her computer chair. I like the computer chair because it's tall and squishy. I can jump onto the desk from this chair. It's especially good after the female human has been sitting in it because it's all warm and cosy. I wait until she goes to the bathroom or to get wine and then I steal her chair. She says I'm a naughty tiger.
The female human hasn't weighed me for a while. Maybe she's forgotten about my diet... She said next time she's going to put a photo update of my slimness. I don't know why she bothers. I've always been a handsome pooka.

I am invisible

Not really. The female human came home the other day and found a pooka-shaped hole in the bed. I was cold, so I moved the duvet out of the way and made myself a nice little nest to keep toasty in. I even pulled out a bit of the female human's pyjamas because they smell like the female human. She thought it was very funny.
In other news, the female human and I have moved into a new flat and it doesn't have interwebs until February 21st, so I can't update my blog so well at the moment. Normal service will resume soon.