Sometimes my human will ignore me completely and play with this thing instead. I don't get it. It doesn't sound good, doesn't smell good, doesn't taste good and looks very strange. I don't like her playing with it. I sat on it, but it's not very comfortable. When the human took the headphones out, it made a horrible noise. She doesn't like me climbing on it and tells me off. Sometimes she even picks me up and puts me on the floor.
My human thinks I'm lazy. I will only climb as far as the house on my tower. The house is warm and cosy. There's no reason to climb any higher. There's no food up there. No flakies. No mousies. So the human picked me up and put me up there. It was fun. I was the tallest pussum. But then I couldn't get down. It was too high. I was scared.
I love catnip. It makes me happy. I like it when the humans put catnip on my scratch pads. I like to scratch it out and smell it and roll around in it. I feel very relaxed. I love the humans more. Everything is better after a bit of nip.
My human is always using the noise machine. She calls it the vacuum cleaner, but I don't see what it has to do with vacuums. It just makes lots of noise. She said it's my fault she uses it so much. She says I'm too fuzzy and I leave fur all over the apartment. She has to clean up my fur all the time.
I think my humans don't love me any more. I woke up at 3am. I was hungry. I tried to wake the female human up, but she swore at me and told me to go away. She even pushed me off the bed. Eventually the other human got up and fed me. I came back in to express my displeasure at my morning treatment. The humans didn't appreciate my yowling and told me off, so I bit the male human. He was very cross. He locked me in the front room at 5 and went back to bed. I was sad. He eventually let me back in at 9. I gave the female human a big cuddle.
Sometimes I stretch. When I stretch I look like Thunderbird 2. Today I did a half stretch. It makes my front look skinny for photographs.
